When I thought about the word forgiveness and what it actually meant and felt like it was difficult to detach it from using the word “letting go”. I’m sure people will have their own views on the subject but for me in order to do one you need the other.
We are all aware of the kind of forgiveness where someone has hurt or disappointed us and we feel absolute trauma to the point of no return. At times trying to forgive someone at this stage seems so impossible that the easier option is to continue to feel the despair and pain attached.
So what happens when we decide not to forgive someone for their mistakes?
What happens to us?
Does it make us feel better, bigger, and happier?
Or does it just give us a false sense of satisfaction that even though we have the ability to easily forgive and move on, we decide to hold onto the wound, and convince ourselves that by doing this we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt again. When indeed what we’re actually doing is trapping ourselves into a web of dis-ease, and once we’re caught up in this it can be very difficult to find a way out.
Let’s look at what forgiveness actually means… on the surface forgiveness means accepting someone’s apology, forgetting about what happened and moving on.
Although the kind of forgiveness we’re talking about is deeper, it’s about dealing with the past, present, people, situations, childhood, anytime in your life where you feel that you have been mistreated by the ones you loved and trusted. Remember sometimes the memories can be so deep rooted that they are often forgotten until something new happens and they re-appear to remind you of how you felt that very first time..
In order for you to grow and move forward forgiveness needs to take place. It’s a natural occurrence that needs to happen and it’s not about accepting other people’s apologies and making them feel better it’s about self- healing.
By holding onto hurt you are harming and causing dis-ease to yourself every day, as this increases a build-up of negativity, resentment, anger and hatred slowly fill our mind, body and soul.
By allowing these memories to lie dormant in the back of our minds, we are silently giving them control and letting them define our future. The only way you can truly forgive and move on is by letting go and releasing thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you.
If a memory makes you feel unhappy there is no need to hold onto this. .a good way to say good bye is to thank it for its life lesson and visualise it leaving your mind.
Forgiving yourself is also a part of this process, there may have been times where you felt you have made mistakes and need to forgive yourself but instead you have fallen into the habit of being self-critical, constantly asking yourself questions such as
Why was I so stupid?
Why didn’t I see that?
Why didn’t I stand up for myself?
Again it’s about forgiveness, acceptance and letting go. We are here to learn, every situation has a hidden lesson, at the time it’s not so clear but every encounter will make us stronger to deal with what lies ahead.
It’s not about being good or bad it’s about taking part, learning from our mistakes and turning what we have learnt into life changing tips for our future… by letting go of your past hurts you are free to live a fulfilling life with a positive mind set.
I think this quote by Dr Phil sums it up
“You have to forgive people not because they deserve it,
but because you deserve to be free of them”
Crystal tip.. Dalmation Jasper is a good stone to help you let go of the past, breakdown barriers, as jaspers are grounding stones. The black spots are black tourmaline which helps with releasing negativity and promoting positive thoughts and protection.